


Secrets, Stars and Aero Bars

by Mae (mae1505)



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Fangirl - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Angst, Blood Drinking, Desire, Dreams, Epiphanies, Falling In Love, First Meetings, Hopeless Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, Multi, Roommates, Vampires, Watford Fifth Year
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-29 17:58:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17812751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mae1505/pseuds/Mae
Summary: When Baz realises he loves Simon in fifth year. Baz is trying to cope with being a vampire and a desire he can't name. After arriving at his room after hunting, he sees Simon asleep and can't stop staring at him. Baz has a dream that night in which he finally realises he loves Simon.





	1. The Thirst of the Ancients

**Author's Note:**

> So two things to clear up with this fic:
> 
> 1) In Carry On, Baz says he figured out that he loved Simon in his fifth year ('It dawned on me during our fifth year') and I kind of always wondered how that played out. It probably wasn't an epiphany and instead was a gradual realization but I like the idea of it suddenly coming to him. I didn't really know how to write it though...
> 
> 2) In Fangirl, there are segments from Cath's fics at the end of each chapter and if you look at the end of Chapter Eight you'll find part of this one. I really liked it and thought it would be fun to spin a story around. That extract was from Simon's point of view, but I changed it to Baz's and tried to keep all the main details the same. Also, if you love Fangirl like me, you'll notice I stole the title of this chapter from the fic Cath reads fully to Levi (The Fifth Hare).
> 
> Enjoy...

I’d already been stared at, spat at, yelled at and followed around for a week, and now I was just done. Snow had tailed me from monday to friday (and I mean he literally followed me to every bloody football game, every goddamn violin lesson and every class, even when we didn’t have the same class) and finally the fucking weekend was here. I could hide in the library in peace, not even Snow would stay there for two days just to try and catch me out.

Right?

I wait for Snow to finally fall asleep then sneak off to the catacombs. I drink from every rodent I come across and leave pinched-up carcasesses in my wake. But no matter how much blood I take in, it’s still there.

I’m still hungry.

I head out of the dark and sink against the stone walls of the courtyard, staring at the stars. I couldn’t ignore it any longer.

Crowley, it’s just my luck that I’m plagued by both the thirst of the ancients and an inescapable desire for, shit, I don’t know what.

Something.  
Someone.

But it’s not like Snow would ever give me a moment's peace to try and sort through my feelings and work out exactly what I want.

I rise with a sigh and head back to our tower. Snow tosses and turns when I open the door, but I’m as quiet as possible (which is practically silent, I’ve had time to practise) so he doesn’t stir (one of the positives of being a vampire, not that there are positives, is seeing in the dark).

I can feel desire, like a hook around my stomach. It feels like the magic of the Crucible, on our first day, when I first met Snow. First met my roomate.

I was cool as fucking ice that day. Walked over to Snow like I wanted too, not because I was drawn to him. I wanted to run, I wanted to grab his hand and shake it so vigorously it would fall off because that’s what I thought my guts were about to do, but I am a Pitch. We don’t bow The mage or his spells.

Snow was waving his hand at me, obviously in pain. He looked ridiculous; wearing crap jeans that were ripped not for fashion but because they looked about 5 sizes too small, a dirty t-shirt that stuck to his skinny arms. His skin was raw and behind the agony I was obviously causing him by not shaking his hand, there was hunger.

I was informed about him. His power.

I wasn’t scared. I don’t think I took him seriously, not then. How could that boy ever become the Greatest Mage.

Then he exploded for the first time, and I wasn’t scared, Snow doesn’t scare me, but I was wary.

The power he has, it’s impossible to imagine unless you’ve felt it. 

I turn over to look at him in the dark. The windows are open (obviously) and turning over only exposes my face to the wind, but I want to look at Snow.

His hair is damp over his head, with sweat I think. He’s plagued by nightmares, we both are. 

A bronze curl falls over his right eye, and I want to reach over and brush it away.

Snow whimpers and I think about waking him up. But I don’t want to wake him up. We’d just have another fight, and I can’t deal with another fight. 

He moans again, and I want to know what he’s thinking.

Is he thinking of me?

I’m thinking of him.

Snow rolls over, away from me, and I want him to turn back over so I can still look at his face and imagine what it would be like to -  
I push those thoughts out of my head and fall asleep.


	2. I'm not in the mood to fight him.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baz and Simon are locked outside of the fortress (and all the other stuff that happens in Cath's extract). They begin to talk (like friends) and Baz realises he wants to be friends with Simon.
> 
> Wants to be more that friends with Simon.
> 
> Then he wakes up because I'm a heartless monster. (Ok, sorry sorry, but it is fifth year. They can't kiss till eighth, I'm keeping this cannon.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like I said earlier, this fic is based off of an extract in Fangirl of a fic that Cath wrote (the end of chapter eight if you're curious, though I had to change it to Baz's point of view). This chapter is the fic and a continuation, enjoy!

It had been two hours since we’d watched the drawbridge lock into the fortress. Two hours of squabbling over whose fault it was that they were locked out there. 

I would pout and say “We wouldn’t have missed curfew if you hadn’t gotten in my way.”

And then Snow would growl back “I wouldn’t have to get in your way if you weren’t wandering the grounds nefariously.”

But the simple truth was that we’d just gotten so caught up fighting that we’d lost track of time, and now I’d have to spend all night out here with this useless idiot. There was no getting around the curfew, no matter how many times I clicked my heels and said There’s no place like home. 

Snow sighed and dropped onto the hill, but I just stared at the fortress fuming that this idiot had followed me out here.

At least he hadn’t seen me drinking.

“Oi,” Snow thumped my knee.  
“Ow. What?”  
“I’ve got an Aero bar,” He said. “Want half?”

I looked down at him. It was probably poisoned. Or cursed. But I hadn’t finished drinking that badger, and I was starving. I’d missed dinner because this twit wouldn’t let me eat without staring.

“What kind?” I frowned, sitting next to him on the hill.  
“Mint.” Snow pulled it out of a pocket in his cape. 

“That’s my favourite.” I admitted, grudgingly. 

Simon grinned, and I stopped myself from doing the same just in time. “Mine too.”

He snapped it in half and handed over the chocolate. I surreptitiously sniffed it, or so I thought, because he pushes back his hair and sighs.

“It’s not poisoned, you know.”  
“Snow. When have I ever trusted anything you’ve given me?”  
“You’re the one who tried to kill me. Twice.”

I bite down on my reply. Fighting won’t get us anywhere, not when we’re stuck out here the whole night.

And I’m not in the mood to fight him.  
I never am, really.

I nibble on the chocolate. Then swallow it whole before I really realise what I’m doing. Snow stares.

I throw up my hands in exasperation. “What?”

He stares. And then bursts into laughter. He actually, I kid you not, clutches his stomach like it hurts to laugh so hard, then keeps on grinning.

I smile. Slightly.

I like this, I realise. Talking with Snow, with Simon. We never talk. I just poke him until he goes off, or punches me in the face.

Maybe we could stay like this…

Maybe even more…

I shoot upright and nearly knock my head into the ceiling. The door to our room is swinging shut.

Wait, what?

I swing my legs out of the bed and that’s when I realize.

A dream.

It was all a fucking dream. 

 

We're not friends, we're enemies.

The door crashes open. Snow's eyes meet mine for a second, then he grabs his tie off his bed and leaves. 

I sink onto the mattress.

Not friends.

No chance of friends.

No chance of more than friends.

Because that's what I want.

Desire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoped you liked it? Don't worry, it gets better for our baby Baz (he just has to wait three years). I was going to write another chapter, but I couldn't get it to go anywhere and I thought this would be a better ending. I have another fic coming up though that I'm collaborating on though, so I'll be back soon! Honestly though I can't wait to write this fic the idea is INSANELY AMAZING and I'm so honoured I get to help write! See ya xx


End file.
